To Inferus in Us..

Inferus!

I don’t know who named it like that. I didn’t even know that the tortoises also have names until I saw Inferus.

Inferus was the dullest, loneliest and the saddest among all the tortoises in their community.

It had seen and heard about many animals and decided itself as the most useless creature in the world. As the days passed, this feeling got stronger and stronger and one day, it decided to go away from all. ‘I am unfit to be in the world where I am no way superior to others.’ – it said to itself and started moving not knowing where to go.

It looked like a long walk, but it had just walked a mile when it saw some buffaloes rolling in a pond of sludge. ‘Buffaloes are so useful. Females are useful for milking and males pull carts. They are superior to me’ Inferus told itself.

As it continued, it came across some birds flying in hurry in search of water. ‘How amazing it is to fly! How colourful and beautiful they are! Why has nature been so unjust to me? Why did it make me so ordinary?’ – Inferus cursed nature and its own fate. When some birds started landing up nearby, it covered itself with some leaves trying to look colourful. Some birds noticed this unusual creature and made more fun of it than they would have made if it went as it were. Some other birds didn’t even notice it.

The sadness of Inferus multiplied when it saw some boys at some distance playing in joy on the road. ‘How joyous, intelligent and lucky animals these humans are!’ thought Inferus. ‘I am sure they will make fun of me and tease me if they see a dull creature like me.’ it just took a deep breath and retracted its head into its shell in order to hide itself from the boys. ‘I don’t want to show them this ugly face!’

As it kept walking, it asked some question to itself: ‘Do I have any one of those qualities? Intelligence? Beauty? Speed? No, not even one. None.’

Inferus was mentally low and physically tired. Sun was sinking in the rivers behind the hills. It was getting darker and Inferus was very sleepy. It decided to end its life by falling from heights. It climbed up a hillock, moved to the edge and fell down.

When it opened its eyes in the morning and saw the creed of tortoises – including its granny tortoise, dad tortoise, mom tortoise, sibling tortoises and so on, it realized that it’s still alive.

‘

Am I alive? Why did you come here?’ – It asked looking at its family.

‘I will tell you everything on the way back home’ – said Granny.

The story doesn’t end here. I will tell what Granny Tortoise told Inferus on the way home back.

****

In most of us, Inferus resides; at least for some part of life, on some matters and at some levels. Most of us compare and feel inferior to others: their intelligence, their beauty, their wealth, their educational qualification, their fluency of speaking English, their professional designation, their popularity and the list goes on!

ONE: we forget to identify that either the factors that we are comparing with others are totally out of our control or they are totally irrelevant to us! What can I do if I am born with ordinary bodily features? It’s out of my control. And we just feel inferior even about other factors which are in our control. We choose to curse; not to cure.

If I am a computer operator, why should it make me sad when I see a hero with six-pack abs? My profession needs different skillsets and a good-looking body is the demand of his profession. We compare irrelevantly and feel inferior. As long as I am not handicapped and my body functions well, I should be happy with the people around me and my work.

TWO: We do not understand what others are undergoing and we simply assume that they have everything they want and are happy. Like Inferus assumed that human beings are so intelligent and happy, without knowing how stupid and miserable they are within, we also develop wrong assumptions about others. Also, if they are really happy, we forget to think about their struggle to reach this happy state. We see the surface and conclude the swans happy floating on water. We fail to go deeper and see how hard is the same swam working below the surface to drive water back with its feet.

THREE: We fail to identify our specialness in the process of watching and comparing others’. Buffalos roll in the wet ponds as they can’t survive heat naturally. Tortoises like Inferus forget that they can adapt to any climatic condition in the world and live anywhere. Inferus fails to understand that birds have to fly for miles to get water in summer, but it has the ability to retain water in the body without needing to search like birds. We often forget how special we are and feel low for what we are not and what we need not be.

FOUR: We take the wrong route to handle our inferiority complex. We want to believe a false explanation that someone is there to do justice or do injustice to us to create hope for ourselves and to escape our own responsibility. Inferus in us should understand: we have the brush, paint and canvas. We are the artists of our image.

Sometimes, Inferus in us isolates ourselves and retracts our heads in our shells. Sometimes, to come out of our inferiority, we speak more than we know and we exhibit more than we have. We just want to establish our identity, but we do that in the wrong way. A simple silence and acceptance that ‘we don’t know’ sounds more meaningful than speaking insensible. We forget that our ignorance also has beauty, but Inferus tries to cover its natural appearance with leaves and want to look beautiful. Either nobody cares or we will become the subject of fun.

FIVE: We try to be everything and everyone forgetting the fact that we are made to be ourselves. You feel inferior only when we compare. We compare only when we want to do something faster, better or more than others. The question of doing faster better or more arises only when you do something that others have also done or are still doing. Instead, shift the focus towards creating from comparing.

I know, suffering from the inferiority complex is a difficult phase to pass through. I was laughed at when I couldn’t frame a sentence in English in the class. I was made fun of about my appearance. I was rejected in an interview for having mother tongue influence on my English. Inferus in me went into its shell. Inferus in me tried being someone else. It took its own time to follow the right path, to understand that some comparisons are not worth making and some others make us worthy.

As the creed was reaching their home, Inferus saw an ant marching fast in front of it. Unlike earlier, Inferus did not feel sad or inferior by seeing the ant so fast and active. Instead, it kept watching the ant with a smile.

Granny tortoise asked: ‘Why are you smiling?’

“I should just let go ant, on the road and from my mind. We are different. It lives just for 10-20 years and needs to hurry. I have more than a hundred years to live.” - said Inferus.

“You’re no more Inferus; you are Infinitus.”