The Loveliest Revenge!

"In revenge, most of the time, WE pay the fee for teaching a lesson to OTHERS", I said metaphorically. My friend just smiled, maybe to indicate his approval, boredom or his incomprehensibility.

In simple words, revenge is our act of reacting to pain, insult or loss caused to us by others. A boy rejected in love, a woman deceived by her man, a businessman cheated by his partner, an adolescent insulted by his classmates, a poor victim of bribe and corruption in the society, a nation defeated by another nation - all think of taking revenge in their own way.

Revenge is usually a byproduct of pain followed by anger. It may be a trick of the mind to divert you and bring you out from the present sadness. Initially, you arrive at a temporary decision of taking revenge. It's all good as long as the decision you take in anger lives for a short time. The decision normally dies before you convert it into action. But sometimes, the decisions escape the death and live on.

In pain and anger, we lose the track of right thought process. We generalize incorrectly. We lose trust in ALL the girls, ALL the men, the entire education system, whole marriage institution, complete humanity, or society on the whole. Then starts the process of teaching the RIGHT lesson to the people, to the society, to the system and the whole world.

The boy rejected by a girl seeks the shelter of alcohol in the bar. In extreme cases, he may plan an acid attack on the girl. The woman deceived by her man attempts suicide or may file a case legally. The business person may plan to murder his partner. The man betrayed by his wife may plan to kill her and her partner or he may knock on some other door. The student insulted by his classmates and teachers may develop hatred towards the subject or the whole education system and starts repelling from the school. An office colleague who wants to take revenge may just spread some vague rumours and try to defame you. The victim of corruption in society may take a gun and become a Naxalite. The relatives may opt for black magic or witchcraft causing harm in the name of revenge.

What's wrong with taking revenge for the insults we face, pains we suffer from and deceptions that we encounter? Well, it's not wrong to take revenge, but most of the time, we don't ensure that our purpose of revenge is served properly.

The rejected boy spoils his health and life by becoming an alcoholic. The student ruins his own career just because some classmates or a teacher insulted him. How is committing suicide serving any purpose for a wife who is cheated by her husband? She just loses her life. The man who kills or plans to kill his wife along with her partner just spends his years behind the bars.

Spoiling our career and life in the name of revenge is not wisdom. Have you ever seen a doctor taking medicine for a patient's disease? We fail to understand this. We treat ourselves and make ourselves victims in the game of revenge.

Even in extreme cases of anger and sadness, I have devised a process of a revenge plan.

First: will I be badly affected if I take this revenge?

Second: In the name of taking revenge, am I planning to affect only the person/group or even their dependents or loved ones?

Third: Can I take my revenge furthermore and target the cause instead of targeting the person?

Fourth: How much I am responsible for this pain or insult by others that are making me plan to take revenge?

Fifth and foremost: Is it really necessary to take revenge? Does that person even deserve my revenge or should I just ignore and move on?

I know it's hard to think of all these points when we are extremely sad or angry. Well, that's what differentiates you from other ordinary people. It's wise to ask these questions at least after our mood calms down a bit. Believe me! Most of the time, we will drop the idea of taking revenge after this thought process.

Does it mean that we should not take revenge even when the other person hurts, insults or does a mistake? Certainly not! But our revenge should be creative in approach, enriching our lives and possibly create healthy guilt and teach a lesson to the person you want to take revenge on.

Raising your voice is the weakest act. Silence needs great strength. Be strong and remain silent. People who insult expect you to shout, argue, retaliate, fight back and bring you down to their level. Give a shock. Remain silent and ignore. There is no better pain than being neglected.

Love and loyalty are great qualities that cannot be expected in return from everyone. Well, it is hard to accept when we are deceived. Dying is not the answer. Killing is not a solution. When someone doesn't value your bonding and can go ahead seeking someone else, it is foolish to think that you can take revenge by hurting them back by Knocking on the other door. It doesn't hurt them when there is no such emotional bonding. Indeed, in the process of taking revenge, you will hurt yourself by going out of your character and act like someone else. Divert yourself. Ignore. Remain yourself. If one day, the person who deceived you may feel guilty for cheating on you. There is no bigger punishment than this. Move on. Time heals everything.

We encounter insults related to our appearance, our caste, colour, financial status, educational background and so on. Let's check what's in our hands and what's beyond? Think about what needs to be fixed and what should be ignored. If someone insults my physical appearance, I can either spoil his physical appearance by splashing acid on his face or I can demonstrate that I can earn more respect through my words, actions, attitude and behaviour than I could earn through appearance. When I know spoiling his appearance doesn't beautify me, I choose the second option. I can target the person or I can address the cause. Success is the best revenge.

The right way to handle the stone that you stumbled on while walking on a road is by throwing it aside, learn to be careful from then and continuing walking, not to hit it back and get hurt again.

One day when you look back, you will realize your silence, negligence and success were far more sensible, creative, effective and right means of revenge. Poor people! They have given you pain and insults. Repay the debt. Give them the gift of repentance of losing someone so good like you.

Whenever I would pretend angry or upset and scold my little girl for her deeds, after a very short time, she would come from behind and hug me.