A letter to the daughter..

I saw you in the morning standing in the window looking at the sky. I’m sure you were calling rain. Now it’s noon and clouds have gathered in the sky. Perhaps rain heard your wish.

If it rains, let’s get drenched, smell the petrichor, make paper boats of my old calendars and be happy. But just be prepared, some are just passing clouds, exactly like some people in our life. They don’t rain. They just pass by. Don’t curse them. They come, give hope, make us dream and pass by. That’s the lifespan of the happiness they could give. Be happy. Understand that not every happiness is permanent and also understand that some thing that is momentary can also give us happiness. Happiness is not about taking; it’s about making.

Don’t be in a hurry. Time runs faster only for adults. They are busy dwelling in their egos, comparing themselves with others, buying what is not needed, then paying EMIs, seeking happiness outside, smiling when they are sad showing the world they are fine, feeling sad for not having even what is unwanted, cursing their jobs, blaming life and giving their children the second-hand dreams and unaccomplished plans. But there is a lot of time for children in life’s clock. Go slowly. Grow slowly. I will remain a child as long as you remain the child. I don’t want to grow up soon.

One day, unfortunately, you will also grow up and get into a relationship or marry an idiot, just like your mother did. That’s okay. Marriage is like a clearance sale. Choose what’s least idiotic from the available options.

Don’t let the world programme your mind. Let the world supply the bricks and sand. But it should always be you who should construct the house of your life. Everyone is busy breaking and fixing their own lives. Don’t think about how you look in others' eyes. It’s only one pair of eyes you should look good to, and they are your own eyes.

Don’t lend your eyes to others to see their dreams. Don’t make your own dreams refugees. Let your eyes see your dreams. Be positively selfish.

The world is not so old to remain black and white. Once it had gods in white and demons in black. Learn to observe and ignore the bad in white and appreciate and apply the good in black. Let’s remain humans, choosing to be in grey, a good blend of good and bad.

Being positive is not about remaining unaware of the negativity. It’s about seeing the unseen good in the negative and remaining blind to the rest of it. True positivity is about being positive about negative too.

Whether you like it or not, you will encounter ‘comparisons and competitions’ in life as you grow. Learn to handle them well. When you take competitions seriously, it simply means, you want to do something that others are already doing just better than all of them. Instead, believe in CREATING. Do something that no one else has done. Think in the way that no one else has ever thought. See the unseen. Hear the unheard. Your competition ended when you were a sperm. You raced against millions of other sperms and won the race. You are already created. Now, it’s your turn to create. Comparison is absolute stupidity. You are not a thing to be compared and selected. You are a being.

Let the world compare with others. You just compare your past and your present. Ask yourself ‘Have I added value to my life between yesterday and today?’ If they answer yes, move on. If no, add value and go ahead.

Be shameless in asking questions. Don’t accept without questioning. Most of the time, the world expects you ‘just to accept without questioning’ and ‘just to follow without asking’. It’s just because the world either has no answers to your questions, or doesn’t want to insult the practices by questioning or doubting our ancestors, or the world is too insecure of questions and changes, or it wants to keep you in dark. Learn to respect the opinions and doubt the ideas. True education is not asking ‘Answer the questions' it’s about telling ‘Question the answers’. Let the world educate you. Get educated yourself as well.

Don’t hurt others. But understand the difference between ‘You hurting others’ and ‘Others being hurt’. You hurt when you forcibly make others do what they don’t like. They are hurt when you do something that you like to do and others don’t like you doing it. You are responsible for the first and don’t do it. You are helpless about the second and don’t stop it. Set right expectations about yourself in others. But don’t expect others to be right. The definition of ‘Being right’ differs in each of our dictionaries. But love throws away all these thoughts and rules. It expects. It hurts. When you can’t avoid, expect less and get hurt less.

Even after you grow up, don’t let the child in you die. It’s okay to question, to be silly, to be funny and to be stupid. Every time you do something different, something that hurts others and creates a disturbance, I always ask you ‘Do you think what you did is right?’. You are always honest and say innocently ‘No’ sometimes and you correct it. By asking that question, I just want to tell you that you are the best judge of yourself. Ask yourself whenever you are in doubt of your decisions and deeds. No one else has the answers except you.

You are a princess though I am not a king. You will remain a princess even if you do not meet a prince. Because being a princess is not relative, it’s absolute.

Love,

Appa