Ways of Love

‘I am going in search of the love of God,’ writes depressed Prithivi on a piece of paper and boards a train. Vasanth, who is disappointed by Kokila’s past affairs says goodbye to her and gets engaged to the daughter of a business magnet in the town. On the other hand, Varsha who had loved Prithvi with her dreamy imagination realizes that he is not the man of her expectations and easily gets attracted to Pavan’s colourful character leaving the mad love of Prithivi midway.

Everyone’s disappointments teach them some lessons before they realize what love expects from us and what we can expect from love.  

This is the summary of my half-written book that saw the dustbin.

The story was based on the Greek’s classification of love. It was moulded to the Indian context of seasons with different characters representing nature (Prithivi (Earth), Varsha (Rain, who starts falling on (for) Prithvi and is deflected by Pawan (Wind) midway. Kokila (Koel bird) loves Vasanth (Spring) and they soon depart.

Greeks classify love in six styles: Eros, Ludus, Pragma, Maniac, Storge and Agape.

Eros is what mostly happens in adolescence It’s romantic and it’s innocent.  Although it is stimulated by physical beauty and starts with the attraction of appearance, it has its purity. It is more abstract without any connection with the practical world.  It may not last longer, but for the time it lasts, it creates wonders. It makes even ordinary people very expressive and creative.

Ludus is more about satisfying one’s ego. In this, it is not about loving the person, but winning the person matters. It boosts one’s ego after making a person fall in love.  It often involves physical intimacy and bodily desires. But the people tend to lose interest after the battle is won. They look for winning a new person. It’s not about planned cheating. It’s about the tendency of losing interest in the achieved goal and the urge to chase a new one. Naturally, the relationships built on this love do not last long.

Storge is another style of love. This is mature and ever-lasting love. It is based on the values of friendship. A clear space and comfort exist between the two. There are almost no compulsions and no attempts to bind each other. It is not defined by targets like weddings. It can run for years or even eternity without any physical intimacy. It is purely based on mutual respect, trust and friendship.

Maniac is very intense. The word ‘mania’ itself translates to madness. This style of love has intense expectations. They are very possessive. ‘You are my world and I want you to have only me as your world’ is the way of love here. People in this way of love go to extremes. They can go to the extent of dying or killing when things don’t go right. The love is very genuine. The level of loyalty and honesty are at their peak.

Pragma is very practical, planned and calculative love. It’s more intellectual. Here, people fall in love keeping their future in mind. It’s about building a strong career, strong financial status and a secure life with the help of their partners. Emotions have less role to play here.  A doctor marrying another doctor, and a youngster looking for a would-be in a government or high-paying job are of pragma type. It is more of an arrangement than of love.

Lastly Agape! Agape is more spiritual. It’s not specific to a man and a woman. It can be loving someone abstract like a god. There are no expectations. It’s unconditional and selfless. It’s only about giving love and finding happiness in that. There is no question of winning or losing, no question of getting in return for giving, not even a question of proposing love to the loved one. It’s all about just loving for oneself.  

What’s your way of love?

Well, the question is wrong. Most of us follow the mix of these ways of love. We expect, we care, we are sometimes selfish and we go selfless some other times. Sometimes our heart senses a hug and sometimes our body.

We try to sense, comprehend, and contemplate love throughout life; yet it remains a mystery.